Better Living Through Chemistry
UV rays. Bugs. Pollen. Smelly Pits. Frizzy Hair. Plaque. And everything else...It amazes me how much time I spend swallowing or slathering chemicals designed to protect my body from undesirable states, from sunburn to pregnancy. This is a list of all the chemicals I voluntarily and knowingly use on my body on a daily or near-daily basis, not including food or food-like substances:
Dove soap * Shampoo * Conditioner * Hair De-Frizzer (rather pointless in this humidity, but what the hell) * Hair Straightener (no, they're not the same things) * Hair smoothing balm (stop laughing) * Anti-perspirant/deodorant * Body spray (juniper or grapefruit when I'm feeling fruity) * Oxy zit cream (10% benzoyl peroxide) * Toothpaste * Mouthwash * Claritin-D * Patanol eye drops * Flonase nasal spray * Sunscreen * Bug spray (DEET) * Birth control pills * Lipitor (for cholesterol) * Multi-vitamin ('women's variety') * Mascara * Lipstick * Nail hardener * Hand cream * Facial scrub * Facial moisturizer * Body moisturizer * Baby powder * Vaseline petroleum jelly (for callouses on my heels) * Marshmallow night cream
I'm sure that if my boyfriend were to draw up his list, it would have fewer items than you could count on one hand. Soap, shampoo, pit stick, tootpaste - that'd be about it. Of course, this might explain why my hands are soft and smooth, and Craig spent the weekend coaxing years of grime out of his navel with a Q-tip and rubbing alcohol, but only after repeated coercion.
Still, it's rather bewildering to contemplate just using these things everyday, never mind setting up a system where I can actually find all of them.
posted by Maquinna @ 10:32 a.m.
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