Maquinna's Poop du Jour

Geeking Out with Godzilla

I don't often turn down opportunities for uber-cheesy entertainment, so when the call came to join friends at a screening of Godzilla: Final Wars, the latest (and supposedly the last) Godzilla project, I figured the movie alone would be worth going to, never mind an evening with folks who are good company and have a predilection for decadent post-cinema desserts.

I am no Godzilla afficionado. Godfather, I know. Back to front, I and II, even Godfather III. Godzilla, what is it, a big Japanese model of a T-Rex that shoots flames out of its mouth and obliterates everything in its path. It's pissed off, for some reason. Don't ask me to name every adversary or, heavens forfend, try and keep track of the plotlines. A quick search of Godzilla on IMDB brings up entries such as 'Son of Bambi Meets Godzilla', and the like. I really don't think I have time to sort it all out. But hey, I like a good laugh, and how could this disappoint?

The pleasures begin well before we are in the theatre. Waiting out in the warm evening sunshine in Cambridge, I note that Marion and I are, for the moment, the only women in line (with our respective beaux). Most of the other guys queuing up look as though they would have brought Godzilla action figures to be signed for their collections if only the big scaly one were capable of an autograph. Actually, it was like being immersed in a collection of great nerdy characters of literature and cinema. One greasy, crumb-covered guy with a froth of fine slobber over his lower lip instantly took me back to the character Toby in American Splendor. Steve Buscemi's Seymour from Ghost World was lurking near the stairs. I kept expecting Ignatius Reilly from A Confederacy of Dunces to show up, and perhaps he did, but I didn't spend much time at the popcorn counter and the audience was noisy enough that I wouldn't have heard him.

The movie itself - pure camp, bad in every respect, sometimes horribly so, that my sides ached at one point from laughing. Was it intentional? Was it homage to the tradition of Godzilla movies? Was it strictly low-budget? What I saw was a send-up montage of clips from Star Trek (William Shatner on the bridge while the Enterprise is under attack), Star Wars, The Matrix, any Bruce Willis movie, and oh yeah, there were big nasty monsters, eventually. Comic relief was provided both knowingly (some little baby Godzilla creature that looked like Barney's little buddy and was never fully explained to we uninitiated) and, I'm hoping, unwittingly (the character of Captain Gordon, lone white guy on the Go-ten force, who storms around and gets in lots of bon mots - 'insert American slang here'). Unlike your typical Hollywood action movie, there was hardly any blood or gore, but I'm reminded that the Japanese have a very different idea of what constitutes obscene material. [I've been told that it's OK in Japanese manga (comic books) to depict all kinds of nasty sex, but you can't show pubic hair.] The plot - was there one? - was threadbare and laughable, the acting was overwrought, and the whole thing was sewn together as crudely as the ass of the first Thanksgiving turkey I cooked at age 9. In short, it was brilliant.

There were probably a lot of details that were lost on me, but if there are intricacies in characters such as Mothra - a giant winged hairy bug, suspended by rather visible means, buzzing drunkenly through the landscape - I think knowing them might have spoiled the fun.

Thanks to Marion for suggesting the movie and the dessert joint, and apologies to Kai for eating all his popcorn. ;)

posted by Maquinna @ 12:51 p.m.