Chocolate
It is scientifically accepted that chocolate is a kind of aphrodisiac, and has a similar effect on the brain as a sexual orgasm. It is also generally understood that women are more attuned to these effects than men, and hence are more likely to crave chocolate. And if you're a woman with a very healthy sexual appetite, well. It becomes very easy to want chocolate when you know it will produce those sexual-satisfaction kinds of feelings one can't indulge in in the workplace. It's your fix.I'm suffering, as I write, from an acute craving for chocolate. I'm fending it off by reminding myself of two things: a) the dress I want to get into, and b) the fact that the chocolate in the vending machine on this floor is abominable. I am a snob about many things, and chocolate is on my top five list of things about which I am exceedingly snobby. Chocolate should involve all the senses: it should please the eye with a rich dark shine; it should inflame the nose with its fragrance; it should create a wave of pleasure rolling through the mouth. Sound like sex? Of course it does.
A package of M&Ms, or a Milky Way bar - even a dark one - cannot even come close to eliciting these kinds of reactions. They're stop gaps, teasers with a waxy texture devoid of the barest whiff of true chocolate decadence. They may hint at the pleasures of chocolate but they never satisfy. One tiny square of a bar such as a 70% cacao Valrhona has the ability to make my senses sing from head to toe. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups only make me swear at myself for giving into what I knew, all along, was a chocolate scam.
Still, I sit here tempted. The vending machine tells me that any chocolate, no matter how inferior, is better than no chocolate at all. I know it's lying to me, like so many lovers who took everything and gave nothing in return. Resist. Resist.
posted by Maquinna @ 12:11 p.m.
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